An Unexpected Identity Experiment

What did I sign up for?! I expected January to test my habits, not my identity.

Dry January ended, at least on the calendar. I decided to experiment this year for the first time, mostly out of curiosity. I didn’t expect it to open something deeper. As I write this, emotion shows up unexpectedly. That caught me off guard.

Calling this an identity crisis feels dramatic. Calling it an identity shift feels honest.

What I Didn’t Expect

For a long time, I wore the “beer guy” label comfortably. Homebrewer for more than twenty years. Certified beer judge for fifteen. Friends who own a local brewery. Travel plans that begin with finding the local brewery before the hotel. Beer didn’t just sit in my glass. It lived in my routines, my relationships, and my sense of belonging.

I thought about testing Dry January many times over the years. That choice always felt complicated, not because of dependency, but because alcohol plays such a central role in how we gather, celebrate, and connect. Opting out can feel like stepping slightly outside the circle.

The reflection deepened while I worked toward my NASM nutrition coaching certification. The science landed differently this time. Alcohol consistently showed up as a toxin with no nutritional upside. No judgment. Just information. Enough to make me pause.

The Experiment That Opened a Door

Dry January gave me a container to explore. A low-risk experiment.

The payoff showed up quickly. Better sleep. More energy. Clearer thinking. I felt it in my workouts, my mornings, and my focus. Along the way, I discovered an expansive world of non-alcoholic craft beers. The creativity and flavor still exist. I didn’t have to give up nearly as much as I assumed.

And yet, something else surfaced.

If beer no longer defines me the way it once did, what fills that space?

That question carries more weight than I expected. Beer wove itself into my social fabric for decades. Untangling it touches memory, connection, and identity. The hardest part isn’t the beer itself. It’s the social connection. The routines. The identity. People have known me as the beer geek. The person to ask about this brewery or that style. The shared excitement over what to try next.

Letting go of alcohol loosens that familiar thread. That loss feels real.

There are fewer people to ask, “Hey, have you tried this NA beer?” During Dry January, that question fit naturally. Now, it lands differently. I can still share what I enjoy about non-alcoholic beers, but the exchange changes. Most people won’t meet me there unless they choose to explore it themselves.

The Messy Middle

I often describe transitions as moving through three phases. An ending. A messy middle. And a new beginning.

I didn’t realize how clearly I would experience all three during this experiment.

The ending came first. Choosing non-alcoholic beer options. Letting go of something familiar and well-worn. That part looked simple on the surface. Make a different choice. Pick something else. But endings rarely end cleanly. They carry memory, meaning, and identity with them.

Then came the messy middle. That’s where I am now. This in-between space holds uncertainty and emotion. Old routines loosen, but new ones don’t fully take shape yet. Questions show up faster than answers. Discomfort sneaks in where certainty once lived. This middle doesn’t offer tidy conclusions. It asks for patience.

What I’m Still Learning

My new beginning remains undefined, but not ungrounded. What’s starting to take shape rests on values and alignment. A decision to put my health first. A willingness to choose intention over autopilot. An openness to becoming, even without a clear label attached.

This is the terrain I walk alongside my coaching clients. Endings feel heavy. Middles feel awkward. Beginnings take time. I don’t guide people through transitions from a distance. I navigate them too, in real time, with real emotion.

I may change my mind in the future. Right now, I like the challenge. I like the awareness this choice brings.

Yes, this is hard. And yes, these life choices still feel worth making.
January ended.
The exploration continues.

𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲
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𝘞𝘢𝘺𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵 356 (𝘠7 𝘞44)